good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
