My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
