dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
