i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
