I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize