I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
