i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
