well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize