TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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