What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
