i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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