doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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