I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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