Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
