Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
