yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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