Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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