i permit you to call me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
