Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
