You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
