Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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