why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
