so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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