I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
