dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize