im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just invented taco cereal.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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