I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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