If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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