Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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