My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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