remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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