I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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