Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
