I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
