There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize