I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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