My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
