sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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