You work out of a Hotel?
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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