the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Randomize
