she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize