dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
