You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
