Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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