his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
