Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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