i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
