ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
