This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
