hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize