WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
