all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
