Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
