I heard we made out
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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