CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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