He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
