Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
