so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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