I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We were destined to go to rehab together
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
