Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
