Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
