We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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