woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
