last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
