every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She needs sedatives and a leash
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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