I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
