sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
