I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
