You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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