Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
