Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize