Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
