Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
