while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
