come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
