We're like a lot better than the average bears
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I currently don't understand fingers.
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