had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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